


Want Not.

by BarPurple



Series: Long Pork and Cigars [2]
Category: Ravenous (1999), The Legend of Barney Thomson (2015)
Genre: Cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 09:12:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10553788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple





	

Ives would happily admit he had a rash and impulsive side, the wee devil in his nature had caused him to have many brushes with the law over his long years, but none of those close calls were as amusing as the one that occurred during his stay in Glasgow.

It all started when he was returning from one of his supply runs to Cemolina. Their arrangement was proving to be very beneficial, if fact she was able to provide bodies almost faster than he could consume them, he’d never felt this virial and alive while having to do so little work. The bus ride from her side of the city to the more upmarket area he was currently calling home was poorly timed, he should have known better than to travel mid-afternoon when the schools had released their charges for the day. Children in this day and age had no respect or fear for their elders, an old-fashioned opinion to be sure, but if you’d be hard pressed to find someone more old-fashioned than Ives.

When he spotted the little crooks-in-the-making eyeing his bag, he decided to give them a scare. It was a simple matter of opening his bag under the pretence of looking for something and casually letting the children catch sight of the leg that was inside; the shocked gasp from them was immensely satisfying. He should have considered the motivational power of money, there was a sizeable reward for information leading to the capture of the Body Parts Killer.

The very next day a knock on his door revealed that the children had been less scared of him and more hopeful of claiming that reward. The police officer was cautious and courteous when Ives invited him inside.

“If you’ll follow me officer I believe I can clear up this misunderstanding.”

Impulsive he may be, but Ives was also a cunning planner and had prepared in case this situation arose.

“You see officer I’m an artist, I’m currently making props for a production of Sweeney Todd.”

Ives ushered the policeman into his studio and smirked at the way his jaw dropped; the studio was littered with casting materials, moulds, paints and synthetic body parts in various stages of completion. The officer regained his composure quickly and began exploring the studio with interest.

“This is very realistic work, sir. Might I ask why you were carrying examples around the city?”

“Oh I had a meeting with the director; she wanted to make sure I was capturing the essence of the production. I had no idea anyone had seen the contents of my bag, I had no desire to unsettle anyone, least of all impressionable children.”

The officer nodded and leaned forward to poke an arm, oddly enough the man had honed in on the only real body part in the room; he really shouldn’t have left his lunch in here. Ives gently caught his wrist just before his finger connected with the limb.

“Please don’t, I’ve not finished that one yet.”

“Ah, I understand sir, my sister is a potter she hates anyone poking her work before it is finished.”

Satisfied that there was nothing untoward going on here the officer took his leave suggesting that Ives be a little more careful about his props in future while the Body Parts Killer was still at large. Once he was gone Ives wandered back into his studio and let out the laughter than had been building in his chest. Honestly it was so easy to fool people; it was almost tempting to stage a production of Sweeney Todd to see if he could get away with people paying to see him eat. Speaking of which, he had his lunch to finish.


End file.
